


No Gundams, Lots of Wings

by lucidscreamer



Category: Battle of the Planets, Gundam Wing
Genre: Crack Fusion, Duo is G-2, Gen, Heero is G-1, Humor, Relena is Princess, Zoltar's giant mecha have gotten even stranger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 04:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7877464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidscreamer/pseuds/lucidscreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero Yuy, (known only to his enemies as G-1, the Eagle), stood atop one of the few intact buildings in the crash zone and gazed down at the battered wreckage of Spectra's latest oversized, ridiculously animal-themed mecha. This one appeared to have been a giant blue hedgehog.</p><p>Or</p><p>That Gundam Wing/Battle of the Planets crack fusion no-one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Gundams, Lots of Wings

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be more entertaining if you're familiar with "Battle of the Planets", in all its 1970s, Sandy Frank 'glory.'

No Gundams, Lots of Wings

(The Battle of the Planets fusion no one asked for.)

 

 

Heero Yuy, (known only to his enemies as G-1, the Eagle), stood atop one of the few intact buildings in the crash zone and gazed down at the battered wreckage of Spectra's latest oversized, ridiculously animal-themed mecha. This one appeared to have been a giant blue hedgehog. He wasn't sure what Zoltar's mecha designers were smoking, but it was apparently potent stuff.

 

The wind whipped at his bird-style, flaring his white wings dramatically behind him. The smell of burning electronic components, an aroma that was not going to be made into an air freshener any time soon, (though it was rather bracing), drifted up with the smoke.

 

Light rapid footsteps crossed the tarpapered roof behind him, and then a deep voice noted, "Ah, I love the smell of thwarted world domination in the morning!"

 

Tilting his head, Heero could just make out the dark shape of his second in command loping across the roof toward him. He sighed. "Duo..."

 

"What?" G-2, the Condor, AKA Duo Maxwell, demanded. He took the final step that would bring him level with Heero. "Don't tell me you disagree. The only good Spectran mecha is a burning Spectran mecha."

 

Well, no, Heero couldn't disagree with that. He did, however, decide to move down wind. As he had expected, Duo followed.

 

"In fact," Duo continued cheerily, "the only Spectran mecha _better_ than a burning Spectran mecha is a burning Spectran mecha with Zoltar smushed underneath it. Smushed and _also_ burning, for preference. But I'd settle for smushed."

 

The Condor was in an unusually bloodthirsty mood, but after the day they'd had fighting the stupid giant hedgehog, Heero couldn't really blame him. As if following Heero's thoughts, Duo aimed a glower down at the smoking hedgehog.

 

"It doesn't even look like a real hedgehog," Duo groused. "And what kind of psycho tries to weaponize a hedgehog, anyway? What's it gonna do, cute people to death?"

 

"The supersonic spin was pretty impressive," Heero offered. They'd been forced to go fiery phoenix to counter that move. Hence the burning.

 

"But not super effective," Duo noted smugly, gesturing at Exhibit A. As if on cue, a large chunk of the hedgehog's spiky head collapsed inward, flames shooting briefly skyward before settling back into a sullen smolder. "I didn't even get to fire the bird missiles."

 

"Maybe next time."

 

Which might be sooner than even he had expected, if the ominous thudding of heavy footsteps coming closer was any indication.

 

They both ran to the opposite side of the roof and peered through the gap between tall buildings in time to spot the newest Spectran mecha stomping up the street.

 

Duo squinted beneath his visor, then reached up to rub at his eyes before squinting even harder at the sight. "Is that--?"

 

"A giant red echidna?" Heero offered, his tone as skeptical as Duo's expression.

 

"Oh, good," Duo said flatly. "You see it, too."

 

Heero barely had time to wonder about the wildlife on Spectra before the echidna mecha rammed the massive spikes on the knuckles of its "hands" into the side of a building and began to climb.

 

"Well," said Duo. "That's something you don't see everyday. ...Unless you're us."

 

A flash of pink and white somersaulted past them, resolving into Princess (AKA Relena), who unhooked her yo-yo bomb from her belt and shouted, "What are you waiting for, Heero? Come and kill this thing!" before leaping onto the adjoining roof and running toward the advancing mecha.

 

"You heard the lady," Duo said, already moving to follow her. He grinned back at Heero. "Time for our echidna buddy to learn why they call me the 'god of death.'"

 

"They call you the Condor," Heero corrected him, running to catch up and flicking his cape so the wings caught the air. The two of them soared across the gap, white wings and blue almost touching. "And you know the 'd' word makes Zark's head explode."

 

" _Yeeeaaah_ ," Duo drawled, tucking and rolling without missing a beat. "Why do you think I use it all the damn time?"

 

Ah. In that case, perhaps it was time to encourage an official name change for G-2. If they enlisted Princess' help, maybe they could even convince the Chief to get on board...

 

Overhead, the Phoenix's engines roared as it descended from the clouds, Quatre's Space Buggy preceding it to harrass the still-climbing echidna.

 

"Woo-hoo!" Duo cheered. "Radio Trowa to pick us up! I've got a bird missile with that thing's name on it!"

 

"You don't know its name," Heero, genetically predispositioned to be pedantic, felt compelled to point out.

 

"Yeah, well, its name'll be 'mud' when I'm done with it," Duo countered. "Let's kick echidna ass!"

 

And, once again, Heero couldn't argue. That was what G-Force did, after all: kick alien mecha anatomy (no matter how zoologically improbable) and occasionally flash-fry it, to boot.

 

Besides, just like Duo, Heero really did love the smell of thwarted world domination -- morning, noon, or night.

 

FINIS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another ficlet that I started more than a decade ago, dug out of the WIP files, and finally completed. I don't remember what sparked the idea for a GW/BotP fusion, but here it is. The ridiculous mecha were inspired by reading some brilliant (and hilarious) reviews of BotP episodes and my love of "Sonic the Hedgehog" video games.


End file.
